Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Edward Snowden = Carmen Sandiego

Edward Snowden is Carmen Sandiego.

No, no! WAIT! I know what you're thinking, but stick with me for a minute!


He stole something from the Chief.

Read: The US. And they want to capture the thief and get back that which was stolen.

Snowden has international syndicate of people helping him get around the world and cover his tracks, so as to prevent apprehension.


Read: China, Russia, Cuba, Venezuela, Wikileaks, etc. Obviously Russia is Eartha Brute.

There's a gaggle of teenage gumshoes (at times in raspberry berets!) trying to catch him.

Read: The FBI and NSA.

And no matter how much people shout at the gumshoes, they just can't manage to find him.

One of the main sources of shouting from my early childhood. QATAR IS NOT EAST OF INDIA, YOU DERP!!!

His name even syncs with the theme song.

Even as an adult, I hear something else when they sing, 'on a slow boat to China.'

Given all of this information, PBS has more than prepared the US for this manhunt, but has equally prepared Edward Snowden for evading capture.


Edward Snowden = Carmen Sandiego.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Lose vs. Loose or "Don't be a loser: Know the difference between lose and loose."

I never intended this blog to so frequently harp on grammar/correct word usage, but the rampant abuse of vocabulary just pisses me off so much, I can't sit idly by. Plus I think I'm developing a twitch from resisting the urge to smack people when they misuse words. It's normal to react violently to people using words incorrectly, right?

You cannot be an adult and not know this one. People are going to look at you when you use one word when you clearly mean the other, and they are going to judge you. Harshly.

Lose: As in to fail, as in to not win, as in to misplace or go missing.

Loose: As in to be set free, as in not tight, as in a joke about your mom.

A good way to remember the difference is to consider related words:

Lose: Lost, loser, loses.

Loose: Loosen, looser, loosely.

The best example I can think of to help someone remember is this:

There is no show called "Loost." These people are missing and are therefore LOST.

I can't think of any other way to make this clearer, and really, neither can the internet. There are a bunch of resources on this word mix up, but most of them reiterate pronunciation, which doesn't seem to be helping anyone. Their complicated explanations which utilize z's, u's, and other letters that do not belong, were confusing, even for ME.

So the next time you're confused about lose vs. loose, just remember that Lost is not a show about an island of castaway whores (or your mom.)

You're welcome.