To the Evil Effing Child and his Evil Parents: You are Human Garbage.

To the evil child and his parent who undoubtedly purchased the fat mask he wore for his Halloween costume: I almost took your kid’s candy away. I mean it. I have literally been running over what I’d have said if I had thought of it, and all I can think is that you are an evil jerk and so is the parent who paid for it.

Allow me to explain. I was giving out candy to kids, and up comes a 15 yr old-ish kid with a fat mask. I have attempted to find a replica online to show you, but as I’ve been unable to, please just imagine Mama June in chin form. Literally that was all that was involved. A chin that hooked around the bottom half of the face. I asked him what he was, as he wore this mask and sweats. And he replied, ‘I’m a girl.’ That was it. He was a fat girl, y’all. He was just wearing a mask, asking for candy, and pretending to be a fat girl, because it’s funny. Because it’s a farce.

There are no funny gifs. No RuPaul pics. Nothing. There was a child who looked me in the face and told me he was a girl while wearing a fat face and demanding candy, and somehow, I didn’t take his bag from him. I didn’t tell his parents to go eff themselves. Because I’m a good Southern girl. I’m supposed to be jolly and just deal. So I did.

His parents are awful. That child is awful. And they can all go to hell. To that kid: If I’d had the presence of mind, I’d have taken your candy, and I’d gone to the street to talk to your parents. I hope you feel like utter shit in your life, you pathetic nothing of a 15 yr old and parents.

You are human garbage.